It’s not an innocent gesture in that it implies that you’re somewhat prepared. Starting from the perfect knowledge of the word empathy. Which comes from the ancient Greek word empatéia, formed by en, “inside”, and pathos, “suffering or feeling”.

«Empathy means sharing. It means contact, connection, becoming one. But there are three ways to become empathic. The first is to give up on part of yourself in order to pay attention to the other’s needs. In the end, you risk being no longer yourself. You risk giving up your own diversity», Donà explains. He also analyses the second meaning of empathy.

«You can be empathic by finding a shared ground. Leaving a margin to respect each one’s diversities. But this means you risk being schizophrenic. Neither yourself nor the other, but a third being. Losing identity. The risk, in this middle ground, is that of confusion».

But there’s a third way of being empathic too.

«Plato and Aristoteles already knew it. It’s the crying of the actor on stage, in the theatre, who makes us crying in the audience. We suffer, laugh and share the emotions of the person on stage, because we know that those things could happen to us too. It’s what happens in cinemas as well. We’re fully aware it’s pure fiction. But a mechanism of identification kicks off», Donà continues. Which is the perfect and contemporary definition of the word empathy. Filled with infinite richness.

«Empathy is when I finally understand that what is different from me, is not only different. It is what makes usbecome even more ourselves. So when we eat, we bring in ourselves the outside world, which becomes an intimate part of ourselves. Why so? Because it’s an extraneousness and an externality that we feel we have to take in ourselves. So that we can become more ourselves. More authentic».

It’s empathy in the sense of enriching one’s identity. It’s empathy as the highest celebration of differences. After all, the true unity is the one that has the single elements best express themselves. Just like with pizza. «Even though this is not a pizza», Donà points out, paraphrasing René Magritte’s Ceci n’est pas une pipe.

«You must suggest to your guest that what they’re eating is not a pizza. Or at least is not only a pizza. The mystery lies in that “not”. It’s Socrates’s knowing I don’t know. It’s knowing that things are never the way we think. It’s knowing that that pizza cannot exhaust itself. Because that pizza is infinitely more than a pizza». Standing ovation.


Cristina Viggè
source: https://www.identitagolose.it/news/?id=245

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